Shadows Within Kisses
by Meredy90
Summary: Fujiwara Sayuri has taken the place of her mother as the new Saniwa of the Fujiwara household. Upon coming of age, she receives twelve swords that have been serving their family for generations. Join her as she lives her days as a Saniwa and learns more about the mysterious swords in her possession. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Nice To Meet You

**A/N: Hello yes, I have returned and obviously I posted this first before updating my other two pending series. BUT calm yourselves, for I am writing the new chapters as we speak. I recently got dragged into the Touken Ranbu hell and here I am starting my own series with an OC. Please be kind to me for I am still not completely sure how these characters are supposed to act. (But then again this is still the introduction so not much of the boys yet) Either way, I can only hope that all of you will like this series and support it! Expect Polyamory in this series and if you're not into it, you totally don't need to read this. Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Shadows Within Kisses**

 **Chapter 1**

" **Nice To Meet You"**

She woke up to her sky blue days, long ivory locks pooling over her shoulders as she gazed outside her windowsill. It was still the early glimpse of spring in Japan that day, the familiar scent of fresh earth filling the streets of Kanazawa. The Nagamachi was a district filled with assorted houses of all kinds, many of them being homes to merchants and notable samurais within the village. Among the many households stood the Fujiwara compound, a home that has lived in solitude from its neighbours. It was not because they wanted to, but everyone knew far too well that this was for the better.

It all began when these unknown creatures invaded this humble village not too long ago. They were creatures that held swords filled with malice and used these blades to bring forth destruction towards the town. They moved with anger and swung their swords mercilessly upon the innocent as they raided the streets. It was a horrible scene to remember, the cries heard and the blood spilled; it was a day where everyone believed darkness had taken over Kanazawa. But there were those who stood brave, warriors proudly wielding their swords as they fended off the invaders with honour. Samurai of all ages and skill stood before these demons; being able to eliminate some but could not vanquish them all. It was until a few anonymous warriors entered the battlefield, wearing clothing and armor that were foreign to the people. Many had believed they were servants sent by God to save the village, their power surpassing that of any warrior the village had ever seen. Although they appeared to be nothing but ordinary men, their abilities prove them to be beings of another kind. They broke through the evil blades held by the malicious creatures, destroying them in the process and ridding the streets of its unwanted visitors. Many had questioned where these heroes came from and who had sent them here in their time of need. The answer to their question has remained vague however, as they only responded with: "We were sent by our Master."

Much time has passed since that fated day, and the people had later on discovered who was truly leading this elite group of individuals. Within the village was a family that had special members entitled "Saniwa", a lineage that was dominated by female successors for generations. They were recognized as the Fujiwara Clan, the nobles of wisteria. They had been keeping themselves hidden from the people, preferring to assist in secrecy and avoiding the watchful eye of the lords that looked over the land. It was believed that their maidens were living vessels of a divine power, giving them the ability to produce blades powerful enough to defeat the demon swords. Their true nature remains a mystery, but the village owes them a heavy debt for their service. A debt, they couldn't possibly afford to pay.

Sayuri stepped out of her quarters wearing an attire of red and white, resembling that of a priestess. Her hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail with a single ribbon holding the tender locks together as she walked down the murmuring hall. Voices came and went as she walked further on, pausing from time to time to greet members that passed by her. She stopped in front of a familiar door, one that was decorated with the Fujiwara symbol made of gold. A servant bowed before her, quickly kneeling down to pull the door open. A gush of spring wind greeted the young maiden upon her entry, the faint scent of wisteria filling her lungs as she smiled contently into the room. This room was passed down to her, originally belonging to the previous Saniwa, her mother. _Mother, please guide me again today._

Fujiwara Maiko was a renowned Saniwa back in her days. Both a mother and wife, she was heavily recognized for her exquisite skill in refining and repairing damaged swords. There were no other Saniwa who could match her workmanship; truly she had a special touch of her own. But that wasn't all; she was one of the rare Saniwas to have mastered the art of sword wielding. Saniwas were never deprived of such privilege, though only a few chose to fight while the rest remained as caretakers hidden behind the Fujiwara walls. One would think a woman like her would live a long life, but sadly that wish ended in tragedy.

Approaching the altar stationed near the entrance, Sayuri gazed upon the portrait of her now deceased predecessor. Incense sticks were lit and placed in a bowl next to the portrait, while a bouquet of newly bloomed calla lilies lay on the opposite side. A woman with the same ivory hair was smiling in the portrait; tender eyes emitting warmth even while being behind the clear glass. She looked no older than thirty, a youthful charm present in her eyes as her face remained elegant with age. It was the image of the late Saniwa, Fujiwara Maiko.

Sayuri folded her hands together, closing her eyes as she offered her silent prayers. Physically, her mother was no longer present in this house. But in each day, she could feel her spirit lurking in the halls, staying in this very room from where she stood. It was difficult to explain, but it felt warm to be in these quarters, it was as if her mother had remained and not once left their home. The silence was disturbed by a soft knock from the door, pulling Sayuri away from her reverie as she began to open her eyes slowly.

"Yes?" she called out, offering a light bow as she smiled at her mother's portrait. Footsteps began to approach her from behind, making the girl turn around to see who had visited her. An elderly woman stood there, hair neatly tied up into a bun as she wore a simple maroon kimono. Fine lines appeared on her delicate face as she smiled at Sayuri, lowering her head for a quick bow to greet their mistress.

"Sayuri-sama, it is now time for you to meet your swords. The turning over ceremony will be conducted today."

 _So soon?_ A hint of surprise was present in her face as she heard this. She was not expecting the turning over ceremony to happen for at least another two days. It was not too long ago that she celebrated her coming of age, and now playtime for this young Saniwa had come to an end. Although the preparation became a surprise, Sayuri was very much overjoyed by the news. "I look forward in meeting them, Yuki-san. Please bring them here."

The woman came back as quickly as she had left, though this time she was carrying a black chest with her and she did not return alone. Sayuri was seated at the center of the room where a small table was stationed in front of her. She sat there with anticipation, her heartbeat quickening with excitement. The arrival of the swords marked the beginning of her duties as a Saniwa. They were going to rely on her in several aspects and she couldn't afford to make any mistakes at this point. Every Saniwa knew that the decisions they make with their swords will either bring them home or become their final goodbye. For years she was trained, brought up to follow the footsteps of her ancestors and to one day become a Saniwa as great as her mother used to be. But one question continues to linger within her mind, has she done enough?

"Sayuri-sama, this is Nakamura Ranmaru. He is the current blacksmith of the family, taking the place of his grandfather, Nakamura Kotaro; the blacksmith that served Lady Maiko during her term as Saniwa."

A boy dressed in blue greeted her with a formal bow, offering a quiet "Nice to meet you" as he got up to straighten himself. She eyed the bundle of cloth in his arms, immediately knowing the contents hidden in the fine material. There was another servant beside him; he too, was holding another set of swords in his arms. The small tears and fading colors on the cloth proved the signs of aging; they appeared to have been left alone for quite some time. A pang of guilt made its way into Sayuri's nerves at the site, thinking about the amount of years the swords endured being locked away in their vault. They were left alone and unused, not maintained nor refined and lastly were left inside to collect dust from the walls. Swords possessed a soul; that was what her mentors constantly reminded her about. It is only when the souls of both the sword and its master become one that they can unlock potentials hidden in one another. But years had come and gone, and Sayuri couldn't help but feel she had wasted too much time waiting for this day to arrive. There was a slight presence of fear that dwelt in her heart, the fear of not being able to unify herself with her swords. Any Saniwa would become afraid of such a scenario, for they would be labeled a failure if they cannot even gain the acceptance of their own blades.

They approached the Saniwa quietly, the old adviser positioning herself next to Sayuri as the blacksmith and his assistant began placing the swords on the floor. She observed how they were taking off the covers with caution, pulling and tugging the material with such gentleness as if they were holding a child in their hands. One by one the swords were presented and placed before Sayuri on individual wooden racks, arranged in groups of 5 and aligned in two rows positioned horizontally. The largest swords were placed in front, both sharing one rack arranged vertically. It was almost breathtaking to look at them; they didn't appear to have aged even as the years went by. It was hard to believe that these exquisitely forged swords were hidden away, for they appeared to be far too beautiful to end up in decaying cloth.

"Now, we will begin." The elder said meekly, placing the chest she held on the table and opening it. "These are not needed in the ceremony, however inside these scrolls are notes written by your predecessors with information about the swords you are about to take into possession."

There were stacks of different colored scrolls inside the container, with golden cords wrapped around to hold them in place. She could see the several hues of orange, browns and cream colored paper that were stuffed together in the chest. Just by looking at them alone, it was already enough proof that these documents were decade's worth of knowledge.

"To begin the ceremony, you must awaken the swords from their years of slumber." They both rose from their seats, quietly approaching the first two swords in front. "Just as you have been taught, simply touch handle of the swords. They will recognize your presence and will show themselves to you."

Sayuri took a deep breath, gently reaching out to touch the handle of the first blade. Upon touching the _Tsuka_ , the sword glowed from contact and appearing from a soft gush of cherry blossoms was a man with piercing amber eyes. She couldn't hold back a gasp when their eyes met, withdrawing her hand from the blade as she stood before his kneeling form.

"My, it has been a while since I have been called into this world. I am Taroutachi. A sword made for combat and not meant to be used by humans." He said in a low voice, the deepness of his tone tickling her senses.

The young maiden quickly glanced at her elderly companion, who smiled and shook her head knowingly. "Allow them to introduce themselves first, you may tell them who you are when all of them are present."

The awakening ceremony continued on, with Sayuri repeating the process until she reached the last and final sword in the room. As she completed the procedure, she made her way back in front, gazing upon the different faces she had yet to familiarize herself with. She felt completely overwhelmed by their presence, not a single dream could prepare her for the experience of meeting these souls in the flesh. Their eyes were settled on her, looking at Sayuri rather curiously as they waited for her to speak.

"My name is Fujiwara Sayuri, the new Saniwa of this household. I am aware that all of you once served my mother, the previous Saniwa, Fujiwara Maiko. As of today, I have taken her place and her duties as a Saniwa. From today forth, I will be your master and caretaker. I hope you will all treat me kindly." She said, bowing before her audience who returned the gesture.

"Sayuri-sama, it is now time to finish the ceremony by dictating the promise."

 _Ah yes, the promise._ A promise between Saniwa and their swords played an important role in maintaining the oneness of their soul. It was an act of honor but was also an act of complete surrender. Once it was made, they were to be bound to one another and forever hold their promise until their last breath. If that promise were to be broken, death would be patiently awaiting them. She had heard this all before, not just from her mentors, but very vaguely, she remembered the voice of her mother, telling her of the importance of this sacred promise.

" _Sayuri, one day okasan may need to go somewhere far away."_

" _Where will you go? What about the village? Who will protect us?"_

" _When the time comes, I will leave you with a few gifts that will protect you and everyone in this village."_

" _A gift? What kind of gift mama?"_

" _You will know when the time is right. And when that day comes, I want you to promise me something."_

" _Anything, mama!"_

" _You must swear your trust, loyalty, life and soul to the gifts I will leave to you. No matter what, you must never break that promise, Sayuri. A Saniwa can be betrayed, but she must never become the betrayer. Just as they are willing to entrust everything to you, you must become someone capable of doing the same for them."_

She closed her eyes briefly, taking in a deep breath as she straightened herself. The males had shifted to a kneeling position, a hand placed over their chest as they lowered their head in respect.

"I, Fujiwara Sayuri, the Saniwa of the Fujiwara household, swear my trust, loyalty and soul to the twelve swords present in this room. With all my being, I promise to take care of all of you and to never forsake you for as long as I remain your Saniwa. Should I fail to keep this promise, may I be condemned to a painful death; for there is no graver sin than betrayal."

A hand was placed on her shoulder, breaking Sayuri from her reverie. "The ceremony is done now. From this day forth, all of you are now under the care of Sayuri-sama and will serve her all throughout her days."

The gentlemen rose from the floor, taking hold of their blades and fastening them to their waist. Sayuri now found herself alone with these strangers, dismissing both her adviser and blacksmith from the room. She had prepared herself for the cold shoulder, knowing that not all swords were going to be welcoming. But to her surprise, there was one that boldly took her into his arms, hugging her tightly as he nuzzled against her neck. The blood immediately rushed to her cheeks, tainting the pale skin with a light shade of pink.

"So you're the new Saniwa! I'm looking forward to serving you!" the white-haired male chimed, keeping his arms wrapped around Sayuri's waist.

The maiden had placed her hands on his chest, making the effort to push him away, finding their proximity a little too close for comfort. "Yes, now if you could please-" _Let me go._

"Now, now, Kogi. Be polite, we wouldn't want to scare our Saniwa away, don't we?"

Kogitsunemaru let out a soft grunt, unwinding his arms as he pulled away from Sayuri; who sighed in relief. "Do you have to be a killjoy Ojisan?"

"Only when it comes to you." Mikazuki retorted. "After all, all of us are relying on this woman now. She might not trust us because of your inappropriate behavior, isn't that so?"

He turned toward Sayuri, smiling gently as he ignored the growls coming from the fox spirit behind him.

"Please do treat us kindly, Saniwa-sama."

* * *

 **A/N: What is writing. I don't even know. But I hope you guys liked the first chapter, somehow. LOL. I truly appreciate reviews, so if you have any comments, suggestions or violent reactions (pls no) leave a review or PM me!**


	2. Visitor

**Chapter 2**

"Visitor"

It was dark. There was no light and no sound, just the eerie comfort of oblivion. It was a world of gloom, a world of complete nothingness. She kept walking forward, half-expecting to find something at the very end of this abyss. _Where am I?_ She asked herself, and then she was blinded.

 _A bright light flashed before my eyes, blinding me for a few moments. Then after a while, I realized I was in a familiar room. It smelled of wisteria blossoms; the scent of freshly burned incense mixing along as it reminded me of nothing more than an ordinary afternoon. But this room seemed different, it felt occupied._

" _Mama!"_

 _I snapped my head back to the sound, I knew that voice. It was..._

" _Sayuri, there's not much time. You need to get away from here."_

 _The sight of long ivory hair took my attention, and I found myself running towards the two figures that were hunched over the entrance of the room. It was a woman and a young girl who appeared to be no older than four. I saw a similar pair of amethyst orbs; there were clear pearls dripping down from them as they looked up to the woman. It was me, I was looking at myself._

" _I won't leave without you, Mama!"_

" _Be calm, my love. You must listen to me-"_

 _A loud crashing noise surprised us; and as I peaked at the entrance, I saw someone had tumbled to the ground. His hair was as fine as raven feathers and he wielded a magnificent Oodachi blade in his hands. He staggered a bit, but he got to his feet quickly and just for a moment, turned toward my direction. A pair of eyes, a shade that resembled that of gold and precious amber, stared at the entrance of the room._

" _Go with him, Sayuri. No matter what happens, do not leave his side do you understand?"_

 _I immediately diverted my attention to the woman who spoke. She looked like an older version of myself, but she had the most tender cobalt eyes. There was fear lurking in her delicate orbs; but there was love, an immeasurable amount pouring out as she gazed at the younger me._

 _She pulled the little girl close, hugging her tightly. As she pulled back, she tenderly touched the girl's cheek and smiled. "He is one of my gifts to you. He will protect you, so you must treat him kindly. You must go now, before they find you."_

 _The woman said urgently, cupping the child's cheek as she leaned forward to plant a kiss on her forehead. "We will meet again, my love. I hope you will not hate me for the decision I've made, but you must remember I did this to protect you. You are my precious little lily and always know that mother loves you."_

 _She pulled her hand away and got up, facing the man with eyes of gold. "Keep my daughter alive. No matter what happens, don't stop and just flee. This is my last order to you as your Saniwa."_

" _We will come back for you." The warrior said firmly, his face grave. I could see it in his face, he didn't want to leave; not without her. The woman only smiled, reaching out to caress his cheek briefly._

" _As long as she is safe, there will be hope. My time in this world is running out; but I promise you, we will see each other again. It may not be in this life, but surely in the next."_

" _Mama! Don't go, Mama!"_

" _Promise me! You will protect her! I trust you, Taroutachi!"_

 _I ran after her, reaching out, calling her name. But she was gone... she was..._

"Mother!"

Sayuri sat up from her futon, gasping heavily as she gripped tightly on the sheets. Beads of sweat dripped from her forehead, her eyes wide open as she tried to steady herself. "Why? Why is it always that dream...?"

In the comfort of her room, she wept softly; staining her covers with tears. This wasn't the first time she had dreamt of that unbearable memory. Although it had been years since that incident occurred, Sayuri had never been able to conquer such a nightmare. The torment it brought to her emotionally was slowly becoming overwhelming, the anxiety and fear hidden beneath the gentle smiles were beginning to surface. She was afraid but she couldn't tell, for she refused to become anyone's burden. As she cried on her bed, she failed to notice that there was someone listening to her sobs; quietly peaking through a small opening at the door. He had been standing there for a while, watching her as she dreamt. He resisted the urge to go to her, purposely ignoring the pestering feelings that left him uneasy and to some extent, guilty. He glanced into the room one last time before turning to leave, leaving nothing but silence behind him.

Two weeks had come and gone, but it only seemed like yesterday that she was officially appointed as the new Saniwa of the household. It was a quiet afternoon when Sayuri sat near the porch, dressed in a casual kimono as she held a sword in her hands. The sword shined proudly against the sunlight as she polished the well-forged steel, tapping the uchiko ball on the blade with quick but graceful taps. A boy was kneeling next to her, his hands curled into fists on his lap as his eyes were glued to the movements of her hands.

"Now, all that's left is the oil." Sayuri said softly, wiping the last specs of white substance off the sword with a nuguigami. She slightly turned her head to the side, glancing at her companion who appeared to be completely absorbed in the moment. He knelt there; his long navy locks tied loosely behind his back, plum eyes focused with such awe that Sayuri found herself chuckling at the sight.

"Namazuo?"

He perked up at the sound of his name, snapping his head back to look at her. "Ah, it seems I got distracted." The boy laughed at himself, taking the opportunity to move closer to Sayuri.

"How so?" she asked, her hands moving against the sword as she applied clear oil on the blade.

"It's just that, it's nice to look at your hands when they work." Namazuo offered a small smile, raising a hand to his cheek as he scratched it shyly. "Yuri-sama has very pretty hands."

Sayuri blinked in surprise, taken aback by his sudden compliment. As the days passed, the swords had begun to warm up to her; occasionally dropping a few kind words whenever Sayuri least expected it. Although it was slowly becoming a usual thing, she had never grown accustomed to them; finding it rather strange and difficult to get used to. She wasn't sure if they were saying this out of obligation or if they truly were sincere about their claims. There were many standards to beauty, but Sayuri wasn't convinced she fitted any of these categories. Was she being humble? She was uncertain, but often times receiving compliments made her feel rather lonely.

The young saniwa had taken another nuguigami in between her fingers, placing the thin piece of paper on the damp surface of the blade as she carefully wiped off the wet residue.

"That's very kind of you to say, Namazuo."

That was all she could manage to say as she returned a smile; putting her tools away before checking her handiwork. She was holding a wakizashi sword in her hands, the blade shining more beautifully as she raised it closer to the light. She saw Namazuo's reflection on the newly polished steel; he too, was staring at the fine weapon. There were a few questions that lurked in her mind, the kind that made her curious about the true nature of these swords. Were they able to feel the slightest touch of her hands as she held the weapon? Was there a connection between sword and soul? Or perhaps, they were just two separate things altogether? She didn't know, but she was curious to have some answers.

Sayuri lowered the sword as she slipped it back into its saya with a soft click. She brought the sword closer to her lips, giving it a quick kiss on the wooden case where the blade would have been. As she turned back, she was greeted by a flustered Namazuo; whose face was redder than a floribunda tree. Another chuckle came from the young saniwa as she handed him the sword.

"It is my thank you for your compliment earlier."

There was a long pause between them, and just as Namazuo motioned to speak, another voice broke through the silence.

"We're back!"

"Kogi-san!" Namazuo called out, turning his head toward the door. Sayuri rose from the floor as she heard familiar footsteps enter the room. Peaking from the side, a handful of her swords were present; their faces stained with dirt and their clothes less than salvageable. But there was this mixed feeling of relief and a sense of pride that made her smile as she looked at them. They were exhausted and it was evident in their faces, but all of them looked contented; almost happy.

Sayuri stepped out of her hiding spot, quietly approaching the group with Namazuo closely following behind. _Kogitsunemaru, Honebami, Souza, Kousetsu, Kanesada and Sayo..._ Her eyes wandered to each of them, but paused at the little boy with striking blue hair. He had scratches on his face and the clothes she had prepared for him were already worn out. But he looked at her with such calmness that it was almost hard to believe he had been part of a battle.

"You have done well today, Sayo." She praised, reaching out to gently pat the boy's head. Subtle pink hues began to stain his cheeks as he looked down with obvious embarrassment, choosing to remain silent as he accepted her gesture. However, the scenario didn't seem to please a few knowing eyes.

"Hey! Why does he get pats? Pet me too, Master!"

"I am not petting anything that is covered in dirt, Kogitsunemaru." Sayuri chuckled in obvious amusement, playfully tapping his nose.

"In fact, I think everyone should have a nice bath before dinner. Isn't that so?"

"Hm, will we have dessert afterward?" Kanesada asked, slowly approaching the girl. He bent over to meet her height, reaching out to cup her cheek in his palm. "I think I'd like to eat something sweet and soft. One that doesn't squirm when I hold it-"

"I believe we shouldn't be an inconvenience to Yuri-chan." Looking to her side, Sayuri noticed a familiar shade of pink, one that resembled the color of salmon. As she looked up, she saw Souza with a smile that didn't appear to be all too friendly. He had caught Kanesada's wrist, cutting him off before the uchigatana could finish his suggestive humour. The two exchanged glances with messages that Sayuri couldn't decipher, but it was enough to convince Kanesada to pull back and shrug in annoyance.

"We will leave for the bath now, Mistress." A silver-haired boy announced, his face dull and emotionless. He didn't seem to be interested in the little bickering the group was starting and was more than willing to leave the room as soon as possible.

"Ah. Please do lead the way, Honebami." Sayuri replied with a small smile, a hint of thankfulness in her tone. The last thing she wanted was to have the situation end in violence, one of which, she knew the boys were capable of doing even in their injured state.

* * *

Sayuri wasn't sure how she ended up inside her quarters. She was there, sitting quietly on her desk with subtle amber light illuminating her now darkened room. She remembered she had prepared dinner for everyone, enthusiastically joining them on the table as they shared a meal together. But then they had begun to talk about her family and then... _Ah, yes. It was about my mother._

The swords had gathered around the banquet that was lovingly prepared for them. They were free of dirt and had given up their armor for soft robes, looking fresh and smelling exquisitely good from the scented oils. It was a jolly gathering, just like any other evening in their household. However, not everyone could follow this routine very diligently.

"Sayuri-sama, you and Maiko-sama are so alike!" Gokotai chimed, catching everyone's attention at the mentioning of the late saniwa's name.

"Oh? Why do you say that?" she asked, placing her chopsticks down as she looked at the tiger cub.

He had paused at the question, looking up as he pondered about it for a moment. Then his head snapped back, a wide smile on his lips as he placed his bowl down. "Maiko-sama always did things for us with love; just like cooking our meals. I can feel Sayuri-sama's love in the food." Pink hues were forming on the tip of his cheeks as he said this, the smile unwavering as he looked into his bowl that was filled with rice and beef.

The way he said the words took Sayuri aback, finding the innocence far too sincere to be a lie. There was an overwhelming feeling of happiness that filled her chest. At last, she felt like she had become closer to her swords, even if it was only a little.

"Thank you. I am glad you think that way, Gokotai."

"It's not just the food! You move and talk like her too!" Kogitsunemaru added, his words becoming muffled as he had stuffed himself with rice. She couldn't help but chuckle as she scolded him not to speak while his mouth is full. Soon, Sayuri was overwhelmed with compliments from the boys. Each of them expressing similar traits she shared with her mother; all, except one.

"What are you guys saying? Maiko-san was completely different."

The voices were hushed at the comment; the smile on Sayuri's face began to fade as she looked towards the owner of the voice. It was one of her uchigatana that said it; the boy with the notable red nails, Kashuu.

"She wouldn't abandon us, she never would." There was an edge to his voice that made his words stung, tiny needles piercing her chest as he kept on talking. His eyes were distant and cold, offering no welcome as he looked back at her through crimson orbs.

"I don't see what makes you so special that everyone compares you to Maiko-sama."

"I would never abandon any of you..." Sayuri squeaked, lowering her head.

"People will leave you when you're no longer useful. If they don't leave you, it's either you left or you died. That's how it works."

The air surrounding the table was becoming intense, heavy with bitter emotions that Sayuri could clearly feel as she prolonged the silence. She did not know what to say, for she was surprised by Kashuu's sudden outburst that the words would no longer come out from her now trembling lips. It was Kanesada that chose to be brave as he boldly broke the silence, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Haha! What a silly joke. You know what is really funny? The split ends my hair has, can you imagine? Me, having split ends-"

"Please excuse me. I suddenly feel very tired and would like to retire first. Thank you for having dinner with me." Sayuri cut him off in midsentence, placing her bowl down as she stood from her seat and exited the dining room.

The table was now surrounded by silence once again, as others quietly ate their meals and while some had stopped eating altogether. Mikazuki placed his newly finished bowl on the table, with his chopsticks neatly placed together on top of it. For once, one could see the age etched unto his face as he looked at Kashuu's direction; taking the attention of the young samurai.

"What?"

"You should have not said such things to Sayuri." He said firmly. His usually gentle gaze being replaced with an iron glare that was directed towards Kashuu, who only shrugged as he gave back a sour look.

"It's the truth isn't it? If she wasn't there, Maiko-sama-"

"-Maiko would have protected her, herself. Neither you nor I could have done anything to change that decision."

Kashuu let out a frustrated sigh as he forcefully placed his food down, producing a loud clunk. "Say what you like. She will never be the same as Maiko-sama, so stop saying she is. I'm going to bed."

"We are not done yet-"

The samurai had shut the door behind him, cutting Mikazuki off before he could finish. He gave an exasperated sigh, closing his eyes as his brows furrowed with obvious displeasure. Silence fell unto the table for the second time, and it was Souza who decided to bring an end to tonight's events.

"We should all retire for the night. I believe Yuri-chan would not accept visitors right now." He said calmly, settling his own bowl down. The boys made a quiet agreement, getting up as they left their unfinished meals on the table. It was a waste to leave such good food, but after the little encounter, not a single one of them had the appetite to eat. The room was emptied in a matter of seconds, going back to its usual dull and cold state as the door was slid closed.

* * *

Sayuri opened her eyes as she recapped tonight's encounter. She felt hurt, but there was no anger boiling, only guilt. _I know it was my fault that mother died. I know._ She was aware of the sacrifices that were made to keep her alive and she of all people knew that no one needed to slap it back on her face; for she had been living with this burden even before she took her mother's place as the saniwa. There were tears that ran down her cheeks as she looked out her window longingly. As if she was looking for something, waiting for that one blessing that would come and maybe help her in her saddened state.

A soft knock on her door broke her away from her trail of thoughts, bringing her back to the darkness of her bedroom. She wiped her dampened cheeks with the sleeve of her kimono, quietly approaching the door as she pulled it open. There was no one there to greet her, only the soft murmurs of the late night winds tickling her ears as she looked around.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" she called out, turning her head in both directions in hopes of catching any familiar face. Her calls were left unanswered however, as she looked around in confusion, shaking her head with disappointment. _I must be imagining things._

As she slid her foot forward, the sound of rattling porcelain filled her ears. Sayuri immediately looked down and to her surprise; someone had left her a tray of rice cakes with tea. It was a favourite of hers ever since she was a child. She often craved for them whenever she felt under the weather as this was the dessert her mother made on various occasions. She looked at the setup for a while before picking it up, taking one last look around the hall for any signs of visitors. Involuntarily, she found herself smiling at the small gesture. "Thank you." She said loudly to the air, half-expecting that her mysterious visitor would hear her if he was close by. Even if he did, he made no move to offer a reply.

Sayuri went back into her room, quietly closing the door with a soft satisfied click. Just as she did so, a figure rustled in the darkness. He had been hiding against the wooden wall that was a few steps away from Sayuri's room. He was wearing robes of white and deep purple that almost blended with the shadows, his long raven locks flowing effortlessly against the wind as he leaned there, arms crossed. There was a small smile that crept on his lips as he heard her thank you, and not a moment later he walked away; cloaking himself with darkness' embrace.


	3. First Touch

Shadows Within Kisses

"First Touch"

The spring winds seemed far colder today, she noticed. The invisible caresses bringing a chill to her spine as she sat by the porch, alone. Sayuri lost count of the hours she had been wasting away staring at the old bonsai tree in the middle of the garden. It was rather strange for her to do so, but the young saniwa didn't particularly notice as her mind remained elsewhere. A soft sigh eventually escaped her lips as she closed her eyes, the flashback of yesterday's heated encounter replaying in her mind.

" _I don't see what makes you so special that everyone compares you to Maiko-sama."_

His voice echoed in her ears, the coldness of his tone embedding itself to her memory. Sayuri could clearly remember how Kashuu looked at her, the way his crimson orbs pierced across the table to meet hers, like a samurai stabbing his blade unto his enemy. She thought long and hard on the reasons behind the boy's demeanour towards her, but things never seemed to stitch together. Perhaps there wasn't anything wrong with Kashuu, maybe it was her that had the problem. _Maybe if I was just a little similar to mother, then maybe-_

"Deep in thought?" chimed a gentle voice.

Sayuri immediately opened her eyes, feeling a hand slip on her shoulder. She looked back, pale eyes meeting the sea. "Mikazuki-san, I'm sorry, how long have you been there?"

"Long enough." He replied with a smile, settling himself beside his saniwa. There was a kind of grace in his movements that made Sayuri want to stare at him, finding his gestures elegant and refined. It was evident that Mikazuki was thoroughly taken care of, his body language oozing aristocracy. Sayuri couldn't help but feel like a commoner in his presence, which was ironic as the samurai placed himself below her, stating that he was the servant instead. He sat closely, the fabric of their kimono sliding against one another as he made himself comfortable.

"You need not to think about what happened last night."

There was silence from his saniwa as he brought up yesterday's agenda, the tension noticeable but faint. Initially, Mikazuki had planned to explain Kashuu's actions, but upon seeing the troubled expression etched unto Sayuri's face, it became clear that perhaps it was best that he didn't linger on the topic for too long. As he was about to part his lips, the saniwa spoke first.

"What was my mother like?" Sayuri asked, turning her head to look at him. Mikazuki looked at her in surprise, taken aback by her sudden question. Clearly this was not the direction he wanted the conversation to take, but upon seeing the look in her eye, his curiosity got the better of him. _Why ask so suddenly?_

"Maiko was a gentle person." He began, turning his attention to the bonsai tree in the garden. "We admired her greatly for her skills as a saniwa, but I believe what made her stand out was her warmth, she was our home."

A wave of nostalgia washed over Mikazuki as images of his past memories with their previous saniwa filled his mind. He could clearly remember her like the back of his hand; the expressions she made, the clothes she wore and the places she would consider as her own. These were details that were not often remembered, but he chose to remember them regardless. A smile had crept on his lips as one particular memory came into mind.

He had once stood with Maiko at this very place, bodies pressed against one another as they embraced each other tightly. She was weeping against his chest, letting out frustrated sighs as her sobs muffled her words. A sword had been destroyed that day, the fragments unsalvageable even with the assistance of a blacksmith. Mikazuki remembered how soft her hair was against his finger tips as he soothed her, murmuring quiet assurances as he kept her close. It was a day that he chose to be brave he believed, a day where in the midst of her sorrows he had leaned down, kissed her briefly and finally said "I lo-"

"Mikazuki-san?"

The samurai flinched in surprise, snapping out from his quiet reverie as he quickly diverted his attention to the girl beside him. Sayuri was looking at him with wonder in her eyes, seemingly curious just like a cat. Mikazuki was quick to note how closely she resembled her mother; she was like a splitting image only that her eyes were far more different than the ones her predecessor owned. They looked softer, kinder even, almost as if she was pleading to him. Mikazuki could not hold back the smile that grew on his face as he looked into her eyes, briefly clearing his throat as he shifted to face her.

"Forgive me. I was distracted for a while." He said, earning a chuckle from Sayuri in response.

"Perhaps you remembered something good?"

"You could say that."

Sayuri could see the fondness in Mikazuki's face, the way his tone and body language seemed to change just by the mentioning of her mother's name. She was aware that her mother had left a legacy behind, the kind that made her unsure if she was capable of keeping it. But to see the reaction of others just by hearing her name, it made Sayuri realize that her mother had left a much more stronger impact than what she imagined. The young maiden clasped her hands together on her lap, breaking away from the samurai's gaze as she looked down into her intertwined fingers.

"Mother... was an amazing person, wasn't she?" she murmured, her voice becoming gentle caresses to his ears. "You talk so fondly of her. It makes me quite jealous."

The last sentence took Mikazuki's attention, his gaze settled on the tightly knit fingers that were on his saniwa's lap. _Is this why you asked?_ He thought, realizing that her inquiry had something to do with what Kashuu had said during supper. It was clear to him that the statement had made Sayuri insecure, her worries being masked with the smiles she wore within the halls. The samurai made a mental note to have a word with Kashuu later on and give the uchigatana a piece of his mind before they set off for today's mission. Waving the thoughts away, Mikazuki reached out and took hold of Sayuri's hand, firmly holding it in his.

"You need not to be jealous, Sayuri." He said softly, pulling her hand up to brush his lips against her knuckles. She let out a soft gasp as they looked at each other, a deep blush staining Sayuri's cheeks as she stammered to form an answer. Mikazuki smiled against her skin, lifting his head to plant a kiss on the back of her hand. "Please do not compare yourself to Maiko. You are your own person, and we like you the way you are."

"Mikazuki-san-"

The intimacy was brought to a halt when Sayuri felt the presence of another person within the room. She flinched and hastily pulled her hand away from her vessel, almost as if his touch burned her. There was a look of surprise from Mikazuki, but he was quick to catch on when he heard footsteps drawing near the door.

"Mikazuki-san!" a voice called, immediately taking the two's attention as they turned their head towards the main entrance. "The others are looking for you. They say it's time to go!"

A little boy with silver hair was approaching them with a tiger cub in his arms. One could see his struggle as he balanced the creature with one arm, while the other was fixed on his hat. The feline continued to squirm like a fish, mewling as it struggled to remove itself from the boy's grasps. The little one eventually wrapped both arms around the cub, securing the animal in place as he took a peek from beneath his hat. "Ah, Master! You're here as well? I-I'm sorry for interrupting."

"It's fine Gokotai. I was just about to leave." Mikazuki replied quickly, sparing one last look at Sayuri as he offered her a smile.

"Perhaps we will save the rest for later."

There was a brief pause between them as they looked at each other. She couldn't tell what was wrong, but there was a look in his eye that Sayuri couldn't quite understand. Mikazuki had always been the peculiar one amongst the swords; not particularly in a negative sense. But he was mysterious even when he expressed so much honesty towards her. She had often wondered how her mother handled such a person; Mikazuki seemed to be both easy and difficult to deal with. There was a great desire to ask him, several more questions she wanted answers to, but she had to keep them until the moon rises later in the evening.

Sayuri managed to return a small smile as she gave him a nod. "I pray for your safe return, Mikazuki-san."

The samurai rose from the floor and bowed before his mistress, excusing himself as he motioned for the door. He had taken Gokotai along with him, leaving Sayuri to herself as she stayed behind. Upon hearing the soft click of the door, Sayuri found herself staring at the bonsai tree again. _What an exhausting week._ She thought, bringing her eyes to a close as she listened to the wind's gentle whispers against her skin. The duties of a saniwa remained to be demanding, and although she was given time for herself, Sayuri only found her time alone all the more distressing. But she found peace by looking at the satisfied faces of her swords, reminding herself that this wasn't the time to succumb to her darkness. There was a promise she had to keep and perhaps this wasn't going to be the worst of her days; but Sayuri couldn't help but wonder, how long could she remain strong? Until when could she keep this facade going before she destroys herself?

"Sayuri-dono."

The soft murmur broke Sayuri from her reverie and she quickly opened her eyes. Turning around, she was greeted by a kneeling Kousetsu with a hand against his chest, his prayer beads intertwined against his fingers. His eyes were closed briefly, but soon a pair of piercing blue eyes looked back at the saniwa, aware that his presence had been acknowledged. "Kousetsu-san, what brings you here?" she asked, shifting her position to face the samurai that had risen from his position. He approached her quietly, pausing in front of her as he kept his usual stoic expression.

"May I speak with you?" There was a questioning look from Sayuri as she nodded in response, extending a hand to the space in front of her as she invited him to sit. It was unusual for Kousetsu to approach her unannounced, most of the time he chose to keep his solitude and was often found praying in his quarters. _It must be important._ Sayuri thought, her eyes fixed on the figure that seated himself in front of her. Kousetsu simply looked at her. Both of them staring into each other's endless orbs as the silence between them continued to lengthen. The saniwa blinked at him in confusion, titling her head to the side as she chose to speak up.

"What did you wish to talk about, Kousetsu-san?"

He looked away from her briefly, raising a hand to his lips as he cleared his throat. "I wished to know Sayuri-dono's condition." He said, their eyes meeting again. They way he answered so seriously made Sayuri chuckle. She had expected to hear about something grievous but she didn't expect to have the conversation about her. _Such an odd person you are, Kousetsu-san._

"I am well." She replied with a smile, "I'm sorry if my behaviour yesterday worried you. I was just... surprised."

Something flickered in Kousetsu's eye that immediately told Sayuri that the samurai was not convinced with her response; not that it was particularly convincing to begin with. She motioned to speak again, to reassure him, but was cut off when Kousetsu raised his beads in front of her; eyes closed as he hummed an unfamiliar tune. He moved his hand from side to side, stopping at the middle where the beads dangled close to Sayuri's face. They were of a deep shade of crimson, Sayuri noticed; the prayer beads that Kousetsu loved so much. Their color almost resembled that of blood, but the beads were clear and shiny, twinkling against the light. Being distracted by the beads, the saniwa failed to notice the cold pair of eyes that were gazing at her. Taken aback by the sudden realization, Sayuri diverted her attention to her lap; the embarrassment evident in her now flustered cheeks. _I must have been disrespectful._

Kousetsu had pulled his beads away after he had conducted his prayer. He silently observed the girl before him, taking note of her troubled expression as she played with the fingers against her lap. The samurai briefly closed his eyes and took a deep a breath.

"You are troubled." He said, earning a flinch from the saniwa. She froze on the spot; the tension being visible on her hands and face. It was not Kousetsu's intention to bring back the unpleasant encounter, but he felt as though there was a need to ask for answers to the questions that have been lurking in everyone's mind. It was never in his nature to pry, but perhaps he too, was troubled.

"Don't be silly, Kousetsu-san." Sayuri replied. "I am perfectly alright."

She offered him a tender smile as she responded; quietly hoping it would put his mind to ease. There was something building inside of her that was close to erupting, and Sayuri was determined to keep it at bay until she was alone. It was already clear to her what was coming and the last thing she wanted was to prove how truly weak she was in comparison to the household's previous saniwa. This was a challenge for her, was it not? Then she should be able to easily-

"The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There's only one moment for you to live."

Sayuri looked at Kousetsu in surprise, taken aback by his words. He was looking at her sternly but his cold blue eyes remained kind for her. Almost as if to offer what little comfort his presence could do. Although he often spoke less, the monk was very observant of his surroundings; and it seemed that the shadow of the past had continued to lurk over what was supposed to be a newly written future. Kousetsu was no fool, he would be lying to himself if he said he did not miss Maiko; but you could not bring the dead back to life. By heart, he knew that the presence of death gave an opportunity for hope to be reborn; though he only wished that the others would let go of the burdens of the past even when it was difficult. He had lost someone dear, but he had gained someone just as precious.

"Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind. There isn't enough darkness in all the world to snuff out the light of one little candle." He paused for a moment to wait for a reaction from his saniwa, but she had chosen to remain silent. He noticed that her eyes were beginning to look far more shinier against light, a bit out of the ordinary. It was then, his eyes widened at the sight of clear pearls that were dripping slowly against her pale skin.

"I'm sorry, I-" Sayuri placed her hands against her mouth to muffle in her sudden sob, closing her eyes tightly as her tears continued to stream down her face. Kousetsu's words did not hurt her, but oddly she felt comfort in them instead. It became clear that Sayuri had been longing for such comfort, one that she didn't expect to need in the midst of her supposed to be iron heart. All this time she only heard about people's expectations and had only been comforted by the nightmares that continue to torment her in her sleep; if this was not punishment enough, she had to face the hatred from her own swords. She was not asking for much, all she wanted was to be reassured that everything will be alright. Her thoughts went to Kashuu, the sword that only seemed to want to push her lower until she could understand his misery. If her feelings could reach to him, maybe he would come to accept her. But you could not force a man to forget about the love of his life in a day; and for her mother's case, 15 years was not enough.

Kousetsu had his eyes fixed on her trembling form, his fingers tightening around his prayer beads to suppress his urge to reach out to her. He had forgotten that Sayuri was still inexperienced and that she had much more to learn before she could truly call herself the saniwa of the household. He respected her deeply for her strength, and admired her for her will; but regardless of her facade, she was only just a girl.

"One moment can change a day, one day can change a life and one life can change the world. Remember this always, Sayuri-dono." Kousetsu said softly, hesitantly raising his hand to reach out to Sayuri. She was so close to him yet he felt like there was a rift between them; one that he couldn't possibly pass. It was never much of his place to show too much affection, but to see his saniwa in such a fragile state; it gave him all the more reason to be compassionate. His voice felt like a caress against her ears, the soft register of his tone immediately soothing her. She had calmed down a bit and managed to offer him a nod in response; bringing her sleeve up to wipe her tears away. _Kousetsu-san probably thinks I'm pathetic._ Sayuri thought, eyes remaining closed as she tried to stop her sniffling. What she didn't realize was that the sword's hand was mere inches away from her face; dangerously close to her skin.

He should be stopping himself; this was not how he was supposed to act. But there was something deep within him that urged him to go on, telling him that this was the right thing to do. As he looked at her, he noticed a vulnerability he had never noticed before. It made him want to protect her, to shield her away from everything that would cause her harm. Perhaps, he wouldn't be condemned for what he was about to do. For the briefest moment, Kousetsu caressed Sayuri's cheek; making the young girl look up to him in surprise. It was the closest to any intimate contact he had ever done to anyone. Being the conservative fellow that he is, physical touches were never the priority in his book. Yet, he found himself becoming fond of the gesture far too quickly to his liking. Before they knew it, they were staring at each other; eyes filled with messages that neither could decipher. There was however, an all too familiar warmth between them. Sayuri couldn't resist the urge to wonder, and out of curiosity, she motioned to ask. "Kousetsu-"

"Sayuri-sama!" Gokotai called, quickly approaching the door as he slid it open. Kousetsu immediately drew his hand away from Sayuri's face and placed it beside him, avoiding eye contact with his saniwa. He had lowered his head, fixing his attention to the wooden floorboard as he allowed her to acknowledge the tantou's call.

"What is it Gokotai?"

"It's almost dinner time, Sayuri-sama!"

"Oh, I didn't realize it was this late."

Lavender met ice for the briefest moment before the young woman got up to her feet. The samurai had remained seated on the floor, offering her a light bow as she motioned to leave. She hesitated for a moment, gazing down at Kousetsu before she turned away. "Let's talk again soon." Sayuri said softly, joining the little boy waiting by the door. The sword had opened his eyes by this time, but he forced himself not to look back. In the eyes of this house, he was a man of discipline; still and unmoving. To turn around meant that there was something tipping the scale; disrupting the balance he had carefully made. _This is nothing_. He thought to himself, gathering his beads as he rose.

Sayuri joined Gokotai at the hall, being pleasantly suprised by Souza who had graced her with his presence; his tender smile lighting up his face.

"If it's no trouble, I'd like to help Yuri-chan make dinner." He said.

"I would deeply appreciate that. Thank you, Souza-san."

The saniwa had gone ahead with little tiger cub, leaving Kousetsu alone with the bonsai tree. He stood by the doorframe, gazing at the leaves that gently swayed against the spring breeze. His thoughts were wandering, his personal judgement being clouded by fate's playful antics. He looked at the hand that he used to touch Sayuri's face with; images of her weeping form still in his mind. It was unlike him to act without permission and he was in a state of disbelief with what he did. "I must focus." Kousetsu mumbled beneath his breath, curling his hand into a fist before lowering it. "This confusion will pass soon."

As the monk stared off to the bonsai tree, he was unaware that there was someone was looking at him by the small opening at the door. The usual smile had faded from his face and his eyes were gazing at his brother with such sharpness that it almost seemed that he was pointing a blade to his back. Souza eyed his elder brother sternly, his expression anything but pleased. There was coldness in his eyes that were unfamiliar to most; it was a side of him that no one had ever seen before or even knew existed. With utmost care, he closed the door silently; diverting his gaze to the empty hallway as he made his way to the kitchen.

"I do not plan on sharing."


End file.
